


Barren

by queenbyun



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Angst, I'm so sorry, Infidelity, M/M, hurt and no comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 11:32:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10638972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenbyun/pseuds/queenbyun
Summary: Erwin supposes things are a lot more civil than he thought it would be. In the times he imagined the ways Levi might react after finding out about Marie, he expected Levi to explode in one way or another.Watching his husband stand at the kitchen sink with his hunched back and frail shoulders, Erwin thinks Levi has never looked more broken, and decides that civil is worse by tenfold.





	

Erwin supposes things are a lot more civil than he thought it would be.

In the times he imagined the ways Levi might react after finding out about Marie, he expected Levi to explode in one way or another. Maybe he'd fling all their china, even his favorite teacups, against the wall. Or, perhaps, he'd gather up all of Erwin's fancy suits, bolo tie included, and burn them on the sidewalk.

After all, it hardly took a dirty dish in the sink or an unmade bed for Levi to direct his sharp, unforgiving words on Erwin.

_Hey. I know being messy is part of your charm, but it wouldn't kill you to clean up after yourself for once in your miserable life, you shitty old man._

_My dearest Levi, I had no idea you thought I was charming._

_Can it, Eyebrows, it's the only thing you've got going for you_. 

It wouldn’t have surprised him at all if Levi raised hell in their quaint little apartment, without a single object left unscathed, because that’s the kind of man Levi was: merciless and unapologetic.

That's the man Erwin married, at least.

Watching this frail creature stand at the kitchen sink, back hunched with burden beyond his capabilities, Erwin thinks his husband has never looked more broken, and decides that civil is worse by tenfold.

Erwin breaks the silence by tentatively clearing his throat to assert that he was there, as if Levi didn’t already know.

“Levi? Baby, let me explain--”

“Explain? There’s not much to really explain, is there?”

At Erwin’s lack of response, Levi slowly turns to face him, and Erwin sees that his once sharp eyes have dulled. Levi quirks his lips in a forced smile that just makes him seem crazed.

“You fucking cheated on me, Erwin. You betrayed my trust. You hurt me. That’s all there is to it.”

Erwin moves around the kitchen island and grabs Levi’s hand in a surge of panic, because no, he couldn’t let Levi think that. He wouldn’t allow it.

“Marie means nothing to me. I don’t love her.”

Levi scoffs lightly, “You don’t love me either, then. If you did, you wouldn’t have thrown me away for something that meant nothing.”

Erwin tightens his grip. “Levi, I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I needed someone, and she was there. That’s all it was. I only want _you._ I only love _you._ ” He attempts to pull the tiny male into his embrace, but Levi fights hard and wrings his hand out of Erwin’s grasp.

Levi’s dead eyes never meets his when he tells him, “Shit, Erwin, I can't believe you. Not when I can’t kiss you without thinking of you doing the same with Marie. Not when I am afraid to let myself love you. Not when I can't help but wonder if you’ll hurt me like this again.”

Levi pauses, and finally looks, really looks, at Erwin for the first time that night. Erwin is struck by the immense pain he finds in those gray orbs and he thinks, _fuck, I’ve hurt him so badly._

“And that’s why _I’m_ sorry.” Levi takes a step back, putting an ocean’s worth of distance between them while Erwin absorbs the meaning of the words.

“Levi?” He asks shakily. There’s no way they could be over. There’s no way Levi could be saying-- “I can’t be with you anymore.”

Levi’s lips quiver, and Erwin can tell he’s trying not to cry with all his might, because Levi always bites his lips like this when they watch sad movies together.

_Levi, baby, they’re just acting. No need to cry._

_I’m not crying, old man. Now shut the fuck up before I shove my foot up your ass._

How simple and yet precious these memories are, Erwin thinks.

“Levi, please don’t do this,” Erwin pleads, “I can change. I swear I’ll never see Marie again. I promise. I’ll come home on time every night. I’ll take you out on dates. I’ll buy you flowers. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I only love you. Just please, please, _please_.”

Erwin chokes on a sob. His cry breaks Levi too and a single tear rolls down his rosy cheeks. Reaching up to wipe the tear away with his thumb, Erwin whispers, grasping onto his last bit of hope, “Just please don’t leave me”

Levi’s face crumbles. “Don’t make this any harder than it has to be, Erwin” And he rears his head away, away from Erwin’s touch, and away from Erwin’s world.

With this, he swiftly turns around and walks out of the kitchen. He walks at a brisk pace as Erwin tails him down the hall and into their bedroom, a sense of dread looming over Erwin and raising the hairs on the back of his neck. Levi is too calm. Too determined.

Erwin stops in the doorway and watches Levi open their closet. He might have cooed teasingly at the way Levi has to stand on his tip toes to reach the top shelf at a different time, but he gets distracted when Levi stretches and pulls out the duffel bag he had brought with him when he first moved in with Erwin.

“Shit, Levi, what are you doing?” Erwin can only stand and watch numbly as Levi unzips the bag and promptly begins to fish through their shared belongings and toss his clothes into the opened bag.

“I’m fucking leaving. Isn’t it obvious?” Levi answers tersely.

He doesn’t get to all of his clothes, because he has allowed his life to spill into Erwin’s until he couldn’t tell where he ended and Erwin began, but once the bag is packed to the brim, he zips it up and swings it onto his back. “I’m gonna crash at Hange’s for a while. I’ll come by to pick up the rest of my stuff another time.”

Levi doesn’t spare Erwin a single glance as he makes his way towards the bedroom door, but Erwin grabs his arm harder than he intended, and Levi hisses in retaliation. “Let go of me!”

He wrenches his arm out Erwin’s hold once again, but he stays in place. Erwin takes a deep breath. “Give me a second chance, Levi. Give me a chance to prove myself.” he begs, “I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

At this, Levi lets out a dry laugh, but Erwin thinks it could've been a wracked sob. “Maybe you should have thought of that when you were fucking Marie, don’t you think?” And then he slips away, leaving his distinct scent of soap floating around Erwin tantalizingly in his wake.

Erwin listens to sound of light footsteps on the wooden floor in the hallway, then the tiled floor of their entrance. The door creaking in protest as it opens, and the definite click as it shuts.

And then, nothing.

The silence engulfs Erwin as he falls face first onto the bed that all of a sudden feels too big and too cold without a petite-sized body huddled in the blankets with a tuft of fluffy jet black hair poking out at the head of the bed.

Yes, it was a much more placated confrontation than Erwin had anticipated. But it was also all the more catastrophic, as Erwin stood in a barren land of his own destruction, without a single flower persevering through the debris to give him hope of recovery.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's it! This is the first fic I've posted in years, so forgive me if there are any errors. I hope you enjoyed the fic! Please feel free to leave comments :) 
> 
> I don't know why I had to be so sadistic that I couldn't just give eruri the happy ending they deserve.


End file.
